Rajasekar a.k.a Raj is a core member of our friends circle and is more family than a friend. In 2007 he and Sanju gave us a double surprise, not only were they going to get married this year but they were getting married the same day at the same muhurtham (auspicious time) albeit at different parts of the city creating a bit of a logistical nightmare for all our families. The double couples got married on 30th August 2007 in traditional ceremonies and we wished them all a long happy life.
Earlier the same month on 5th August 2007 which was also a Friendship Day Sunday, we friends had a customary meetup at an upmarket restaurant and as expected Raj arrived last, but to our surprise brought along his then fiancée, Pavithra. My first impression and I judged too soon, was that Pavithra seemed like a reserved person and yet a very good match for Raj. While some of us were blowing away the sheesha (non- tobacco hookah with fruity flavours), Anees offered her the Sheesha and she nonchalantly declined "not my brand" with a whiff of an attitude. We were taken aback and all of us bursted out laughing at her sense of humor and welcomed her to our group. It was an evening to remember.
Raj was based out of Bangalore then and we
did not meet often, but as a group we occasionally met up in family functions.
A few years later in 2012, Raj moved to Chennai for various reasons. We
organized a family get-together in March 2013 and that was probably one of the rare
times all our families met and it was a good evening.
I moved to London in 2014 and returned in
2017 and hoped to catchup with all friends and family more often. Raj and Pavithra
were now parents of 2 kids, son Vaibhav and daughter Damini. It was mid 2017 when Raj
revealed that Pavithra was diagnosed with Neuro Endocrine Tumour i.e. cancer in simple terms and that the family had been
fighting it for the past 18 months. We were all shocked to the core, she was
just 34 yrs old and had a whole life ahead of her and it was brutally unfair to
her, Raj and their kids. We prayed a lot and she fought a lot. She finally
succumbed on 31st Jul'17. We all friends met her at Apollo hospital the day
before, knowing it would probably be our last time. Not many words were spoken,
I just gave Raj a hug, nothing I said could make a difference to what he was going through. I vividly remember the first and the last time I saw her.
It is events like these that question the
very design and purpose of life. Why should she not get the pleasure of
watching her kids grow, why should Raj
and kids miss out on seeing her grow old and tend to her like normal families do. We will never get
these answers and the void in the family will forever remain.
It's been over 5 years since, and Raj
despite losing his better half has been whole, stronger than ever and completely focused on his kids; his life
revolves around them. We've caught up often since then and I do inquire about him
and kids' health, well being etc, but hardly broached the topic of Pavithra. It goes without saying, the vacuum in his life continues.
This group of friends still misses Pavithra and on behalf of us all - We miss you sister !
Friendship day 5th August, 2007
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